This Is My Fight Song

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD

Gryffindor

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Posts: 27
Age: 19
Species: Human
House: Gryffindor
Occupation: Eighth Year
Status: Single
Played by: Emma

Last seen Sept 13, 2024 21:32:03 GMT

This Is My Fight Song Dec 28, 2021 15:37:11 GMT

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Post by MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD on Dec 28, 2021 15:37:11 GMT

Deep down Kai had known that his seventh year at Hogwarts would be eventful but he had never realised just how true that could be. During one of the first quidditch matches that term he had taken a blow to the head from a well aimed bludger and from what his parents had told him for weeks after that no one had known if he would actually pull through and now while so many students were heading back to Hogwarts magic had been revealed to the world. Kai hadn't been on the train with the others, his parents had insisted on taking them to Hogwarts themselves despite his protests that he was fine so he hadn't seen anyone just yet.

The knowledge of what had happened the year before had struck a chord with the Gryffindor and the fact that he had spent months learning how to walk again had made him realise just how dangerous a sport quidditch was. He had always loved it, both watching and playing, and his parents had always been quite flippant when they said that no one had died in years but he had come close and the truth was that scared him. Having always had a natural talent for flying, Kai had heard people whispering about the fact that he could even be better than both of his parents but he had refused to listen to those comments, instead training as hard as he could to be the best player that he could be. Quidditch was in his blood and it had very much become a part of who he was but now just the thought of getting on a broom again terrified him and he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be able to play the game again. He hadn’t told anyone of his fear, nor had he told them that whenever he closed his eyes he relived the accident. He knew he should have confided in someone but his family would never understand and his friends had already spent enough time looking at him like he was going to break down at any moment so he had kept it to himself and he had a feeling it was going to stay that way.

After everything that had happened he had missed out on the majority of his seventh year and even though he knew he could easily drop out, that was the last thing he wanted to do. He needed to have some qualifications under his belt so he knew that giving up before he faced the final hurdle just wasn’t an option but he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t particularly looking forward to having to repeat his seventh year while his friends graduated around him. Some of them were going to be staying on but he was still going to be in the year below him and that was humiliating to say the least although he knew that it just couldn’t be helped given the circumstances. It had been his choice to return to Hogwarts and take his NEWTs so he knew that he was just going to have to get used to it. He hadn’t yet told his friends that he was going to be returning to Hogwarts, nor had he told them the good news that he could walk again considering that he wanted it to be a surprise but that was something he knew he could worry about later.

Lately the nightmares had been getting worse and he knew that there was something he had to do, he had to face his fear and head out to the quidditch pitch again, so he decided to do just that while the other students were catching up before the start of term feast. That particular location had always felt like home to him in the past but now the thought terrified him. He had a feeling it was pretty natural given everything that had happened but he had never felt like this before and he knew that he had to at least try and deal with it before the new term started. Even if he wasn’t able to join his friends out on the quidditch pitch he was going to have to show his support and attend matches so he knew that he had to face his fear. Even as he began to approach the quidditch pitch, however, his pace began to slow and he found himself struggling for breath. He hadn’t even stepped onto the pitch and his heart was already hammering in his chest. Coming to a stop, Kai took a few deep breaths to steady himself and tried to slow his racing heart. Panic attacks weren’t something that he had ever experienced before but he was pretty sure that was what was going on now and he tried to focus on anything else that might take his mind off of where he was heading. To begin with facing his fear alone had seemed like a good idea as he hadn’t wanted to seem weak in front of anyone else but now he knew he had made a grave mistake and he knew that he was just going to have to take it one step at a time. Hoping no one had seen him struggle and that he wouldn’t be hit by another panic attack, finally Kai straightened himself up and forced himself to put one foot in front of the other as he got ever closer to the quidditch pitch.

[Open]

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

Hufflepuff

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This Is My Fight Song May 1, 2022 10:56:16 GMT

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Post by GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER on May 1, 2022 10:56:16 GMT

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD 852 wordsNotes: Crappy post, sorry.

While Greta didn't love and obsess over flying like some of her other classmates she did, however, appreciate the skill and talent that went into the sport, and she loved the freedoms that flying could give. The focus that it required when in the middle of a match was something the Hufflepuff wasn't sure she'd ever have enough of for anything not specifically Curse Breaker related, but that was a focus and concentration she'd learned was life or death. She'd never saw Quidditch as that type of focus requirement until last year a Gryffindor friend of hers had almost met his end during a match and like everyone else in the stands Greta had been horrified. The gossip mill had taken the events and ran with them like wildfire last year, and despite not even being at the school Kai was a sensation and talk of gossip amongst those who thought they knew him, and she noticed most of his closest friends had actually remained quiet and tight lipped about the whole thing and despite calling herself his friend she wasn't sure where she'd fell on the scale so hadn't reached out to them for information on him. She'd looked for him at the station before boarding, hoping he'd be back this year until Dakota had called her attention elsewhere and they moved to find an empty compartment before they were all full and then he simply slipped her mind as she settled into the seats with her two best friends surrounding her, already gossiping and making predictions on the school year. Talking of their annual game of truth or dare had carried them most of the way to Hogwarts, but after that Greta let her mind wander on its own. There weren't many years left at Hogwarts, she was really only required for this additional year for the curse breaker program, but the thought being the only one in her little trio out of the school and away from her best friends hadn't settled well so she'd already decided to do the full extra years and go into the field as a curse breaker ahead of some others her age and with a wider knowledge of the ruins and other elements she might encounter, which would lead to her increased safety in a job that had killed before.

She'd confided in Dakota that she had wanted to play Quidditch before, she loved spectating in the sport and had played friendly matches a few times with some of her other friends but she always waivered on the idea knowing Brooke would be likely to have a panic attack at the thought, and even attending matches was often a two person job in keeping her calm, and especially as they'd both witnessed Kai's accident it hadn't came up again. But she knew there was an opening this year, one of the chasers from last year had graduated and left the school so the spot was open, she just had to decide if she wanted to be the one to go for it. It wasn't a decision she could make without stepping onto the pitch and viewing herself as a more than a spectator, so she broke away from Brooke and Dakota and without telling them where she was going, merely making some excuse about talking to one of her Gryffindor friends she headed out to the pitch. It would be a quick visit but it felt right to go there and get a bearing on what she wanted to do, not to mention she'd used the pitch for solitude plenty of times during the week and spreading out her homework on the grass when the weather was nice mostly left her in solitude unlike the other parts of the grounds. Her frequency at the pitch and her daring adventurous self had given her a lot of Gryffindor friends with a running joke she was an honorary Gryffindor and the hat had simply felt sorry for Gryffindor if they put her in their mix so let the Hufflepuff's deal with her. Some days she agreed she was placed in the wrong house, but she was a Hufflepuff, not all of them were shy pushovers after all.

Setting off the pitch she was close when she spotted another figure also headed that direction and she almost stopped and turned around when she moved closer and realized who said figure was. A smile came to her lips automatically as she kept on pace towards the pitch, she hadn't noticed his stop earlier but that natural energy that she exuded at practically every turn had her bouncing towards the entrance of the pitch and catching up to Kai and once she was close enough that she was sure her presence was known she decided to speak, "Kai. Should have known you'd be here. Not even back a full day and already..." She stopped when she read more of his body language, "Everything okay?" She asked instead of finishing her sentence, her happiness at seeing him back still there but also her concern there for him as well.

not always perfect

but always myself

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MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD

Gryffindor

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Posts: 27
Age: 19
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House: Gryffindor
Occupation: Eighth Year
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Last seen Sept 13, 2024 21:32:03 GMT

This Is My Fight Song Jan 8, 2023 17:54:43 GMT

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Post by MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD on Jan 8, 2023 17:54:43 GMT

Kai knew that a lot of people had been surprised to see him back at Hogwarts after what had happened last year. He had pushed a lot of his friends away in the beginning after his accident because he just hadn’t wanted them to see him broken like that but some of them had refused to let him push them away and he was grateful to them for that. Now he was back on his feet and it felt good to be back at Hogwarts even if he was repeating his seventh year. He had faced most of his actual seventh year thinking that he wasn’t going to be able to walk again but with a lot of hard work and perseverance he had managed to get back on his feet. He knew that the rumours that he might never walk again had circulated around Hogwarts, he had seen it written all over the faces of those he had encountered on the Hogwarts Express and those he had seen since, but he knew that sooner or later the surprise would settle down. They had more important things to focus on now that the Enlightened had revealed magic to the world anyway and with all of that going on Kai couldn’t help but feel like he was going to need quidditch now more than ever. His parents had promised that they would keep in touch and let him know that they were alright but he knew that the worry he felt for them wasn’t going to go away that easily. Everyone at Hogwarts was worried about the people they had left behind but they were safe there and for that Kai was grateful.

A lot of his friends had already graduated and moved on with their lives so he’d had to reach out to them by phone but now that he was back he was going to do his best to reconnect with those who were still around. Fortunately for him they had all seemed to understand why he had pushed them away so far and he hoped that would continue. In the past he knew that he had taken being at Hogwarts for granted but now he knew that he wasn’t going to do that again. He wanted to make the most of his second go at his seventh year and after that he would have to figure out whether he wanted to go on to play quidditch professionally if he could get over his fear or whether he wanted to do something else. For now he knew that he just needed to get through the year first and that meant trying to get back on his broom. Right now he was just trying to take it one step at a time and actually make it to the quidditch pitch which was proving to be much easier said than done. With one panic attack already having taken place, Kai knew that he probably looked a right state as he slowly made his way in the direction of the pitch but he knew that he would always regret it if he didn’t try. With every step he took the memories of that day came flooding back to him, memories that he had worked so hard to bury over the last few months, but he knew that the only way to truly move on from what had happened was to confront those memories so he had to at least try. Hearing someone call his name, Kai forced a half smile when Greta said that he hadn’t even been back for a day before her voice trailed off. He knew that his face probably said it all right now and he nodded as she asked if everything was okay. “I’m fine,” he lied even though Greta knew him well enough that she would probably see right through that. “It’s good to see you Greta, what brings you down here?” he asked, hoping to draw the attention away from him for the time being.

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

Hufflepuff

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This Is My Fight Song Jan 20, 2023 8:55:07 GMT

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Post by GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER on Jan 20, 2023 8:55:07 GMT

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD 758 wordsNotes:

Accidents happened in every career, or at least any of the ones she could think of on the top of her head but it was different to see a school game have such disastrous consequences as Kai Wood had the previous year. In her head Quiddtch was a game that inspired competitiveness, friendly bets, a reason to gather in one place and yell and cheer for her house when it was playing and then pick a team every other game and cheer and yell her head off for them in return She’d loved the feeling of flying, of being in the air and going high enough to make people look small and seeing open air and feeling it in her lungs, and she loved the friendly games she’d occasionally played with friends over the years and had been interested in playing on the house team for several years but never could bring herself to audition, especially knowing how Brooke reacted to heights but she was running out of time to play and give it a shot so she decided to go down to the pitch and let it help her make the decision for her without the bias she knew would be staring at her in the face if she saw Brooke even if her blonde bestie told her to go for it lying through her teeth. She was comfortable in the air and on the pitch and worked great under pressure and friends told her she wasn’t bad at all as far as actually playing the sport so there was a chance she’d make it on the team, so she couldn’t just try out if she wasn’t sure.

So much in Greta’s life was on a whim she wanted to make a solid decision about something outside her career and feel good about it regardless of her mood. Her mood swinging from high to low to the point of extreme on both scales made decisions for long term decisions feel impossible because she had to consider if she could commit when the lowest low hit and the highest high, and outside of her job which she was adamant she could handle regardless of her brother’s insistience and attempt to convince her to the contrary, she didn’t make a lot of other decisions like playing a sport. It wasn’t a bad idea, maybe the adrenaline and practises would help channel the highs and give her something to look forward to on the lows and as she walked to the pitch imagined the commentator saying her name and the crowd cheering and it put her in a good mood and that mood furthered in a upwards direction when she saw the unmistakable shape of Kai Wood in the flesh headed towards the pitch. Rushing to meet him she’d started in excitedly before catching his face and reading his body language and stopping that conversation in the tracks as she asked him the stupid question of if he was fine when she could read perfectly well he was not. “Liar.” She called out, though not unkindly, before offering him a smile as he changed the topic back to herself and she debated not letting it go but figuring he needed the toping off himself she decided to let it uno reverse on herself and nodded towards the pitch, “There’s a spot open for chaser on the house team and I’m debating going out for it. Just going to sit at the pitch and debate my options and maybe ask some friends to have a friendly game to help the day.” She told him honestly, though seeing her at the pitch wasn’t unusual as she used it for homework and lounging plenty. A few times used it for some snogging back in her 5th year which felt like a lifetime ago now that she was on the other side of graduation. “I’m glad to see you back. You don’t have to do that though.” She said nodding towards the pitch they’d been headed to, “you can ease into the term before you go worrying about the game. No one’s going to be needing an answer today. And if they are send them my way and I’ll go ahead and jinx them for asking for you.” She told him, trying to get a laugh out of him by the end though she’d started being serious. She didn’t stay serious for too long often, or at least with the stiff words and refusing to smile she liked her serious with feeling behind it.

not always perfect

but always myself

made by remi of adox

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD

Gryffindor

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Posts: 27
Age: 19
Species: Human
House: Gryffindor
Occupation: Eighth Year
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Last seen Sept 13, 2024 21:32:03 GMT

This Is My Fight Song Jan 23, 2023 10:00:58 GMT

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Post by MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD on Jan 23, 2023 10:00:58 GMT

Kai had been hurt playing quidditch before, it was a hazard of the sport unfortunately, but he couldn’t deny that what had happened had scared him. He had spent months thinking that he might never walk again and he was pretty sure that it was only through sheer determination that he had managed to get back on his feet. For a long time the healers at St Mungo’s hadn’t seemed hopeful, they had done their best to keep his spirits up but occasionally he had heard them talking about how they didn’t think that he was going to recover fully and that had terrified him. Before the accident he had always been so active and he hadn’t wanted that to change and fortunately for him it hadn’t had to. He had managed to get back to where he wanted to be, he was able to walk and run again and he had been given the all clear to return to quidditch if he wanted to as well but the truth was that getting into the mindset to do that was proving to be more difficult than he had thought it would be. Flying had always made him feel free and he had always enjoyed playing quidditch with his siblings and friends. He had even managed to talk his parents into playing at times as well and it had been such a big part of his life for such a long time but he knew now that it wasn’t all he wanted to be. He didn’t want to be defined by quidditch his whole life, he wanted to do something that he enjoyed but he also wanted to leave a mark on the world in one way or another and he wasn’t entirely sure how he wanted to do that just yet but he had some time to figure it out and he really was glad about that.

One thing Kai had learned over the last year was that he didn’t want anything to hold him back from something that he wanted to do and that included getting back to playing quidditch. Right now his fear of going back to where it happened was huge but he didn’t want to let that fear control him. That was why he decided to keep going after the panic attack subsided rather than turning around and heading back towards the castle. He had thought about asking James or one of his friends to join him so he could at least have someone there to distract him for a while but if he was honest he had decided against it because he hadn’t wanted any of them to see him as weak. It had been enough of a shock for some of them to see him back on his feet when he boarded the Hogwarts Express as it was, he knew that very few of them had expected him to be able to do that but he had surprised them once and he intended on doing it again by getting over his fear and getting back into the sport that had hurt him so badly.

He had hoped that no one would have seen his panic attack but he could see from the look on Greta’s face that she knew that something was up. She had always been able to read him like a book so he couldn’t really say that he was surprised and as she called him a liar he rolled his eyes playfully. “If you say so,” he teased even though he knew that she was right. He wasn’t doing okay but he knew that he wanted to be and he wasn’t going to give up hope that soon he would be. He had to be. It was a relief to be able to turn the focus back onto Greta and he nodded as she said that she was debating going out for an open spot for chaser on the Hufflepuff team. “You should, I’ve seen you play during our friendly games and I know you’d be great at it,” he offered. He knew that he perhaps shouldn’t be encouraging someone who would technically be classed as the opposition but he had never been like that. Kai had always been the kind of guy who would befriend anyone from any house and he would always support them no matter what. “Thanks,” he said, offering her a smile as she said she was glad to see him back. “I know I don’t have to but there’s a part of me that wants to. Quidditch has been a part of my life for such a long time and I don’t want to let one bad accident take that away from me,” he explained, hoping that she would understand. “James already told me I don’t have to rush to make my decision but I don’t want him to wait around for me if it turns out I can’t do it either. Better to try and get it over with sooner rather than later,” he added, his gaze surveying their surroundings and thankfully finding that they were alone. “Will you go with me?” he asked, still not liking how weak that made him sound but knowing that he would feel better knowing that Greta was there. She had always meant a lot to him and that hadn’t changed even after he had done his best to push so many of his friends away.

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

Hufflepuff

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This Is My Fight Song Jan 26, 2023 14:59:31 GMT

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Post by GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER on Jan 26, 2023 14:59:31 GMT

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD 943 wordsNotes: Rambling, sorry.

Seeing Kai back out towards the pitch was, honestly, inspiring. Even before she’d saw his face, read his body language and knew that it was a fight to do it, it was inspiring. After doing the reading and the looking part, it was more inspiring. Kai had almost died last year, and there’d been times that there’d be some concern he actually would, and then more concerns he’d never walk again. Hogwarts wasn’t exactly designed for the handicapped person without the ability to walk not to mention not being able to fly would torture Kai. Generally, if Greta wanted to search him out, and she had a fair few times over the years, she started here. Playing friendly matches, just tossing the quaffle back and forth as they talked, so many of Greta’s memories with Kai’s took place on this pitch and she rarely came to it without at least thinking of him. When she was manic she could run the length of the pitch until her legs were jello and she collapsed in the grass to catch her breath if no one was around, and if they were she’d push herself hard on something that required her absolute focus to try and channel the mania into productivity. It wasn’t always successful, but she still tried it. She hadn’t yet confessed to Kai her diagnosis of bipolar disorder, but given she’d only gotten it formally given and he’d been out and focusing on his healing she hadn’t yet gotten the chance. She’d told him of her revelation a few years ago that she was bisexual, had never felt as if she had to hide who she was from Kai, much like with Dakota and Brooke but in a different way. Other than the depressive side, those downs she hid from everyone but her girls and they helped her fake it until she fought her way out of it, but Kai had, unknowingly, helped steady her when she felt she was on shaky ground. Hopefully, she could return the favor for him now that his own ground was shaking. “I know so.” She joked in tone though was serious that she knew he was lying about being okay.

She also knew all too well that sometimes when you weren’t okay that you didn’t want to have to continue lying and being prodded about it, so she didn’t do that to Kai and instead let him turn the conversation to her, let him do what he needed to do to help him as she confessed her own reason for being out here and got a reassurance that she should go out for the team. “Key word there is friendly. This would be for real. All the time.” She confessed, knowing that her up and down swings could affect how much she wanted to play for the team, not to mention she knew how much being in the air during a game would freak out Brooke. “I mean it’s just a tryout so there’s a chance I wouldn’t even get on the team. So…I dunno. Maybe I will.” She dithered, trying to make up her mind on the topic. The pitch was a place she felt comfortable in and relaxed, did her homework, and joked with friends, being here for practices wouldn’t bother her, and she’d watched Hufflepuff’s a time or two over the years, even a few of Gryffindor’s once she was friendly with a chunk of the team, practically an honorary Gryffindor. She knew that’d have to stop if she made the team, but getting to play them for real as part of a team that’d likely be worth it.

Pushing out her feelings for the pitch she focused on Kai and his own fears and hesitations, reassuring him that he didn’t have to do this today. She knew James wouldn’t immediately give up his spot and if he did she’d be kicking his ass, head boy or not, and she knew Quidditch was important to him but she could also see the downside to rushing it. “No one expects you to give it up. But you just got back to the school after spending the term prior literally fighting for your life. I know you’ll be back on a broom, I have no doubts about it. Flying is a part of you. Not just Quidditch but flying. I’m just saying if you rush into it, you might do more harm than good. Just promise me that even if today doesn’t go as you plan you’ll keep going.” Greta told him laying a hand on his arm as she looked at him, her voice as confident and reassuring as ever. She knew he was about to be fighting an uphill battle in the anxiety department over doing something that had just tried to kill him at his last attempt but as he asked her if she would go with him she gave him a soft smile, “Of course I’ll go with you. And not just because I was already headed there. You can hold on to me and I’ll fly you around even.” She joked knowing that she wasn’t about to stretch it even as she took his hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. “Lead the way.” She nodded knowing whatever direction he went, whether it be the pitch or the other direction if he truly wasn’t ready for it, she’d follow. She’d spend time with him again, try and help him relax and keep his mind busy so he didn’t overthink whatever decision he made. Those types of intrusive thoughts she knew about all too well having battled them herself for years.

not always perfect

but always myself

made by remi of adox

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD

Gryffindor

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Posts: 27
Age: 19
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Last seen Sept 13, 2024 21:32:03 GMT

This Is My Fight Song Aug 13, 2023 19:00:21 GMT

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Post by MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD on Aug 13, 2023 19:00:21 GMT

“Prove it,” Kai said as Greta said she knew that he wasn’t okay although there was no malice in his voice whatsoever. He knew that she was only joking around but the truth was that he had never been very good at leaning on people or letting them see him be vulnerable. Ever since he’d been back on his feet he had been putting on a brave face for everyone around him and the truth was that it was exhausting. He could put on an act and pretend that everything was fine but something in him had changed and he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. He had spent months thinking that he was never going to be able to walk again followed by even more months of gruelling rehabilitation to make sure that didn’t happen. Now all of his friends had graduated without him and he was stuck repeating his seventh year with no idea what he wanted to do with his life any longer. He had always thought that his path was clear, that he would follow in his dad’s footsteps and play professional quidditch for a living and even though he had been keeping his options open when it came to other careers, he had always seen flying as being a part of his future. Now he wasn’t so sure and he didn’t know what to do without it but he couldn’t even make it out to the quidditch pitch without having a panic attack so it wasn’t looking good. He knew that he didn’t have to hide anything from Greta, the two of them trusted each other completely but the truth was that he didn’t even know how to begin opening up about this or what he had been through.

Truth be told it was a relief to be able to turn the conversation to her for a while and Kai felt a small smile touch his lips as she said that the difference in playing for her house team would be that it would be for real all the time. “I know you can handle it. You’re a great player Greta, don’t doubt that,” he said gently. He wasn’t sure that he could get back on a broom but that didn’t mean that he was hold off on encouraging someone he cared about from giving it a go if they wanted to. “They’d be crazy not to put you on the team,” he assured her, reaching over and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He knew that Greta wasn’t used to it but that definitely didn’t mean that she wasn’t capable of playing for her house team. He had seen what she could do and she really was good so if she wanted to go for it then he didn’t doubt that she would earn a spot on the team.

As Greta spoke again, Kai thought about it for a moment. “I promise,” he said at last. “I’m just tired of everyone looking at me the way they do. Ever since I woke up my parents have been looking at me like I’m about to break at any minute and it’s the same with my siblings and friends. I’ve put everyone through too much already, I can’t stand seeing that fear in their eyes any longer,” he explained, hoping that she would understand. “I woke up so many times to hear my parents in tears talking about all of the things I might never be able to do. Quidditch has always been a part of who I am but I feel like I’ll be letting everyone down if I don’t get back on a broom again.” He didn’t just want to do it for them, he wanted to do it for himself as well because he really had always loved flying and quidditch but right now he just wasn’t sure if he could and he didn’t want to make it awkward for James or the rest of the team if they held out hope that he would be returning only for him to find out that he couldn’t. They had already had to have a stand in Keeper for the majority of the previous season, he couldn’t do that to them again. “I don’t think anyone would let me live it down if they saw that,” Kai chuckled. “Thank you though,” he added, offering her a small smile as she took his hand and gaze it a squeeze. Keeping Greta’s firmly hand in his, Kai took a deep breath and took a few more steps towards the quidditch pitch, just trying to focus on the feeling of Greta’s hand in his own and the notion of putting one foot in front of the other.

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER

Hufflepuff

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This Is My Fight Song May 19, 2024 3:51:00 GMT

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Post by GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER on May 19, 2024 3:51:00 GMT

She knew that Kai wasn’t telling her to prove it in a harsh sort of way, but she wanted to prove that she did know him, that she was there for him in any way she could be after he was gone so long the previous term and all his friends had been forced to graduate and either had left the school or moved on to the University without him. It was the worst part of a personal tragedy was while you were battling for survival and recovery the world was moving on around you. It didn’t stop and wait for you to catch-up and as someone who dealt with a lot of the catching up after a bout of her low depressive states she related somewhat, though not entirely, to Kai. She debated making a joke of it, but decided to go for honesty. “If you were okay you’d have already been on the pitch on a broom instead of stalled on the trip to it.” She told him, her voice in a light joking tone despite her words being one hundred percent serious. She couldn’t imagine anyone just being okay after what he’d gone through, hell she’d have been far more surprised if he’d been able to just jump back on a broom and whiz through the air ready to get back into a game of Quidditch after it’d literally almost killed him. So many people used the phrase lightly that when it was as literal as it was for Kai it’d taken on a whole new seriousness.

It also made sense that Kai would deter talking about his newfound anxiety in the form of turning the converstion from himself onto her, and she’d hesitated to tell him given it was Quidditch related and he was struggling with that himself, but if he needed or wanted a distraction she wanted to be able to give him just that. So she did and found herself smiling at his encouragement. Sure he could just be telling her that because she’d done him a solid by taking his thoughts away from himself but she’d held her own in enough friendly games with him and could read some signs of dishonesty in people that she thought he was genuine. “Thanks. Might at least try out and if I don’t feel like I’m ready just bow out after the first few practices with the team as an actual player.” She told him, knowing that it was a big decision for her, and one she wasn’t taking lightly given her mental health could make her unreliable or just hate the game if she had to force herself to play through all the lows just to keep up with the commitment she’d made. The nagging thought in the back of her head had suggested that perhaps she’d have less lows, but she knew better than to hope for that only to be crushingly disappointed when the first low came.

Greta took in Kai’s words, tried to put herself in his shoes and really feel what it was like for him during this recovery knowing his parents cared but sometimes overly caring was just as exhausting as not caring enough or at all. Hovering could drown someone as much as neglect. The fact he heard conversations his parents likely hadn’t intended him to hear thinking him asleep probably didn’t help matters, and given the professional Quidditch parent aspect putting unintended pressure on Kai she was astounded he’d not had a break down mentally. Of course not everyone was prone to those as Greta was, but still she was a little jealous of his ability to hold it all together, but more proud of him for it and that he felt comfortable enough to share the thoughts with her. She didn’t judge, she understood the internal pressure to make everyone happy and relax that you weren’t going to fall apart, she could see it from time to time in Brooke’s eyes when she was on a longer down and she’d faked coming out of it just to see the relief in her expression, which had actually helped genuinely bring her out of it. “I get it. But the fear in their eyes fading isn’t worth something inside you breaking.” She told him gently, remembering that he wasn’t her and doing her best not to project her mental health issues onto him. “If it motivates you in a positive that’s great you want to prove something to them and yourself by getting back on a broom but you have to do it for you not because of what you think everyone else will feel. Anyone who would judge you if you didn’t get back on a broom can take a hike off the Astronomy Tower.” She told him with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood for him by suggesting that he could ride on the back of her broom holding onto him if he wanted knowing he wasn’t likely to take that suggestion. She couldn’t say she’d have hated the idea if he had taken the idea though. “No problem. Offer stands if you ever do want me to fly you around.” She teased as he took her hand and squeezed it before taking a few steps more towards the pitch. “Doing okay? I can lead you in with both hands in mine and you just take the steps with your eyes closed taking deep breaths if that’d help.” She suggested giving him the option if not seeing the approaching pitch would help or hurt she wasn’t sure. Either way she’d be here with him until he made it to the pitch and then afterwards to what he decided to do, whether it be fly or just breathe in the air of the pitch and fight the demons that came with the return of the place that’d almost killed him.

Tag:MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD
Words: 984
Notes: So super late, sorry.

credit to Laura of Adox

MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD

Gryffindor

APPLICATION | PLOTTER | TRACKER

Posts: 27
Age: 19
Species: Human
House: Gryffindor
Occupation: Eighth Year
Status: Single
Played by: Emma

Last seen Sept 13, 2024 21:32:03 GMT

This Is My Fight Song Aug 1, 2024 0:43:12 GMT

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Post by MALACHAI THOMAS WOOD on Aug 1, 2024 0:43:12 GMT

Kai had always been the kind of person who didn’t like to show any sign of weakness if he could help it. It had served him well while he had been the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team and he had used it to try and bring the best out of his team mates. For a long time over the last year he had felt nothing but weak and the truth was that he hated it. That wasn’t him, he had always been the one that others could lean on when they needed to rather than the other way around but that year had also been the most difficult of his life. He had always laughed it off in the past when people had said they’d almost died when they had been far from it but he had almost died and for months no one had known if he would ever walk again. He had faced a very different future from the one he’d always thought he would have and the truth was that had terrified Kai. He had tried not to let it show, he had seen how scared and upset his parents and siblings were so he had always tried to put on a brave face for them but underneath it all he had felt like he was broken. Making it through rehab when the feeling had started to return to his legs had been difficult and on more than a few occasions he had come close to giving up completely but his Healer hadn’t let him do that and now Kai was glad that he had stuck with it. This was different, returning to the quidditch pitch where it had happened was a choice and it was one that Kai hadn’t known if he could even go through with. The panic attack on the way there was unexpected but it made things a lot more complicated and he wasn’t so sure it was even a good idea any more. In a way he was grateful for the distraction that Greta being there offered him and as he challenged her to prove that he wasn’t fine, he couldn’t deny that she hit the nail on the head and he let out a sigh. “You’re right. It’s crazy to be so scared of this, flying is literally in my blood. So is quidditch,” Kai breathed. He had grown up watching his dad play and his mum had been on the Gryffindor quidditch team as well. He had heard so many stories from both of them while he was growing up and he’d been flying from such a young age but now just the thought of getting back out there again terrified him. Kai knew that this wasn’t him, he wasn’t this person but he wasn’t sure how to get past it either. He had hoped that going out to the quidditch pitch would help but right now it was having the opposite effect.

It was one of the few things Kai had been able to think about since he’d returned to Hogwarts and even though it was still early days and James had told him that he didn’t need to try and rush anything, Kai knew that he needed to figure out whether or not he would be able to return to quidditch sooner rather than later. It was a relief to have something else to think about now he was so close to the pitch, though, and Kai felt a smile form on his lips as Greta said she might at least try out for the team. “You should. Trust me, there’s nothing like being out there feeling the adrenaline rush through you during a match but even if you think it’s not for you after a few practices then at least you’ll have tried,” Kai admitted. That was something he missed but he wasn’t sure whether he would be able to overcome his newfound fear. “I know you, I think you’d regret it if you didn’t give it a try.” If she chose not to then Greta would be left with lots of questions about what it might have been like so he honestly believed it would be worth her trying out even if she decided down the road that it wasn’t for her after all.

“Something inside of me is already broken, that’s the problem,” Kai sighed. It had been that way ever since he woke up in a hospital bed after the incident. He had worked so hard to piece himself back together but it still felt like there was a piece of him missing and he knew that that missing piece was, he just wasn’t sure if he could do something about it. “Why do I get the feeling you’d be happy to push them if they didn’t go willingly?” Kai chuckled, an eyebrow raised as he looked over at Greta. “Honestly, with my parents being who they are I’m pretty sure I was flying before I could walk and I’ve been playing quidditch pretty much my whole life. It’s not just for my parents, I want to get it back for me as well. I’ve tried so hard to put my life back together but I think I’ll always feel like something is missing if I can’t do this,” he explained, hoping that he was making sense. “Thanks, I appreciate it,” he grinned, knowing that he would never take Greta up on that offer if he could help it. He needed to do this to feel like himself again and having her there by his side really was helping but he knew that if he was able to get back on a broom then it was something that he would need to do on his own. Taking a few more steps forward, Kai shook his head at Greta’s suggestion. “Thanks but I don’t think that would help. I can’t hide from this, I need to face it head on.” It was the same way he had faced everything else and that had worked out in the end so he knew that he just had to hope that this would as well. “Just don’t let go of my hand,” he added, knowing that he needed that point of contact to help keep him in the present rather than letting himself get lost in what had happened the last time he was out there.

GRETA MAKAYLA GALLAGHER