Post by BAILEY ROSE CARROW on May 5, 2023 22:02:31 GMT
If only you could feel it
the crippling fear of being deserted
@//open || Hope this works!
[attr="class","Bailey"] Bailey was in a foul mood today. There was no reason for it, but she could feel it sinking into her bones. It was an angry oily feeling that she couldn’t even wash away with a warm shower. Usually a trip to the baths cleared her mind of everything, but it hadn’t this time and she didn’t know what to do. Tears pressed into the corner of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Charlie nuzzled his head against her hand and she drew away, curling into a small ball in the middle of her bed. Thank god her roommates weren’t here to see this. They were all supposed to be in classes, but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to go. She just didn’t care enough.
Charlie’s whine turned into a bark and she lifted her head to glare at him. “Leave me alone or I’ll take all your toys and throw them away!” she snapped. He whined and tilted his ears back, but the threat had worked. He grabbed his favourite stuffie and retreated into his kennel as if he had understood what she’d said. He knew her moods and he knew the word “toys.” Normally he’d keep trying to comfort her, but he liked his toys more than he liked her. It was just a fact she’d have to get used to eventually. He was right, too. No one should like her. She wasn’t a good person.
Bailey huffed a breath and sat up on her bed. “I’m sorry, Charlie,” she said, holding out her hand to offer the dog some pets. He didn’t even look up at her. She growled and grabbed a treat from a bag and held it in front of the kennel. No reaction. She let out a short scream of frustration and pulled on her favourite cloak. If he didn’t want to be around her she’d just let him have the room to himself.
As she walked outside, the cold air hit her and she felt her frayed ends starting to freeze over. She was sure that she looked like a mess with her tangled hair and cloak-covered pyjamas, but she didn’t care. Maybe she was so cranky because she hadn’t had a wink of sleep last night. She had been up late studying, and when she’d finally given herself permission to go to sleep she hadn’t been able to get herself to fall asleep. That was a problem she commonly had when she didn’t get to sleep early enough. She had a very finicky sleep schedule, and when she deviated from it she often found herself unable to sleep at all. Then again, it could have been due to the caffeine in her system. Regardless of the cause, she’d ended up in the common room curled up with a book and stayed there until her peers started slowly filing in from their own rooms. It had destroyed her peaceful environment.
Some kids were laughing in the distance, no doubt having yet another snowball fight. She wasn’t in the mood to be caught in the crossfire, so she walked the opposite way. It only took a few moments for her to end up on the banks of the Black Lake. She stifled a yawn as she gazed out across the water. She wouldn’t mind swimming, except it was sure to be freezing. Besides, she’d heard of evil mermaids in the lake’s depths. She didn’t want to risk getting dragged beneath. She took a rock and threw it across the lake’s smooth surface, hoping to disturb whatever rested beneath. If she couldn’t relax today no one should be allowed to.
Charlie’s whine turned into a bark and she lifted her head to glare at him. “Leave me alone or I’ll take all your toys and throw them away!” she snapped. He whined and tilted his ears back, but the threat had worked. He grabbed his favourite stuffie and retreated into his kennel as if he had understood what she’d said. He knew her moods and he knew the word “toys.” Normally he’d keep trying to comfort her, but he liked his toys more than he liked her. It was just a fact she’d have to get used to eventually. He was right, too. No one should like her. She wasn’t a good person.
Bailey huffed a breath and sat up on her bed. “I’m sorry, Charlie,” she said, holding out her hand to offer the dog some pets. He didn’t even look up at her. She growled and grabbed a treat from a bag and held it in front of the kennel. No reaction. She let out a short scream of frustration and pulled on her favourite cloak. If he didn’t want to be around her she’d just let him have the room to himself.
As she walked outside, the cold air hit her and she felt her frayed ends starting to freeze over. She was sure that she looked like a mess with her tangled hair and cloak-covered pyjamas, but she didn’t care. Maybe she was so cranky because she hadn’t had a wink of sleep last night. She had been up late studying, and when she’d finally given herself permission to go to sleep she hadn’t been able to get herself to fall asleep. That was a problem she commonly had when she didn’t get to sleep early enough. She had a very finicky sleep schedule, and when she deviated from it she often found herself unable to sleep at all. Then again, it could have been due to the caffeine in her system. Regardless of the cause, she’d ended up in the common room curled up with a book and stayed there until her peers started slowly filing in from their own rooms. It had destroyed her peaceful environment.
Some kids were laughing in the distance, no doubt having yet another snowball fight. She wasn’t in the mood to be caught in the crossfire, so she walked the opposite way. It only took a few moments for her to end up on the banks of the Black Lake. She stifled a yawn as she gazed out across the water. She wouldn’t mind swimming, except it was sure to be freezing. Besides, she’d heard of evil mermaids in the lake’s depths. She didn’t want to risk getting dragged beneath. She took a rock and threw it across the lake’s smooth surface, hoping to disturb whatever rested beneath. If she couldn’t relax today no one should be allowed to.
the toxic thoughts of an overachiever