Post by RAELLE ELAINE CRAVEN on May 16, 2023 2:29:10 GMT
[googlefont="East Sea Dokdo"][googlefont="Dawning of a New Day"]
hunt goes on deep in the night
TW: EXCESSIVE DRINKING
It was a quiet night, the worst kind for Raelle. Without any customer to service or flirt with, her mind was free to wander to all the places she kept locked away during her busy hours. She stared aimlessly at the spot she had been wiping for several minutes, not really caring if it was clean but just wanting something, anything, to distract her mind from where it wanted to go.
Winter had been her mother's favorite season. Despite living in the area their entire lives, her mum had always been fascinated by the first snow of the season, going to extreme lengths to make their home appear as festive as possible, even though none of them were particularly religious. Even less so now, huh? she thought bitterly, sighing as she gave up the fight and pushed her damp rag away. She glanced at the dark bottle sitting next to it, its contents already suspiciously low. She had been nursing on the liquor for the better part of several minutes, feeling the numbing tingle permeate her nervous system, dulling everything it touched except for her hyperactive brain. It had been awhile since she'd had this much to drink, let alone by herself. But there was no faceless lover to keep her company tonight. Only the thundering pulse of blood in her ears broke the silence, the promise of a miserable morning to come. She didn't care. A hangover would be a welcome distraction from the void opening up in her chest, expanding until it threatened to consume her.
Her phone didn't ring on Christmas, and there were no outbound calls in her history. Her mother's fantasy of an idyllic family Christmas went to the grave with her. From the moment the family matriach took ill, Raelle had railed against her father, slinging every horrible insult at him for refusing to get her mother the help she so desperately needed from the people who actually knew how to help. She had spent many nights crying into her pillow, listening helplessly while her parents bickered nearby, her mother's protests growing gradually weaker with each passing day.
"Why?" she asked the empty pub before taking another hefty swig at her bottle. Taking the time to prepare a glass was pointless and would just be another dish to wash. The bourbon was harsh on her throat, as it had been all night and the night before, causing her to cough and splutter. She prided herself on her ability to handle her booze, but the holidays battered away at that resolve, chipping away at her outer strength to the fragile soul beneath, poisoning it with anger and hatred. It was that same poison that led her to striking up a deal with a member of the Englightened at this very pub, joining its fold and launching herself to the forefront of a new wizarding war. Her mother would be so proud.
Raelle downed the remainder of the bottle and stared at its embellished logo. It was some cheap brand they dolled up to sell at a higher price. It all tasted the same after awhile. "Why?" she repeated. "Why did you have to leave me?" In the years since her mother's passing, she hadn't really opened up about the experience. She had tried therapy for a minute, but it was definitely not for her. Sitting in a sterile white room with some old dude in a tweed blazer and a notepad didn't exactly make her want to pour her heart out.
Stepping forward, the young woman stumbled slightly, the alcohol snaking its way into her senses and holding her in its hypnotic trance. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face as she hurled the bottle at the far wall of the pub. It shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces, much like Raelle's heart had all those years ago. She glared at the wet stain, channeling all of her rage into that tiny blemish, a tornado of emotion rising in her, a dam threatening to burst.
In the end, she just heaved a ragged sigh that ended as a sob. Covering her face with her arm to hide the tears from no one, she stumbled backwards until she was being supported by another stone wall. She sank down to the ground, racked with violent sobs as she curled in on herself. She sat there, alternating between screams of anguish and tiny, rasping hiccups. The thought of bashing her head against the wall crossed her mind, but the hangover she would have in the morning would get the same effect. Her mind was filled with memories of her mother, the floodgates opening to drown her in the past. Her mother had been beautiful and kind, even as the cancer stole her features away along with her life. Heaving a final sob, Raelle was still, her eyes half-lidded and swollen with tears. Her vision was beginning to blur, sleep creeping in to ease her suffering. "I miss you so much," she whispered as her eyes closed.
It was a quiet night, the worst kind for Raelle. Without any customer to service or flirt with, her mind was free to wander to all the places she kept locked away during her busy hours. She stared aimlessly at the spot she had been wiping for several minutes, not really caring if it was clean but just wanting something, anything, to distract her mind from where it wanted to go.
Winter had been her mother's favorite season. Despite living in the area their entire lives, her mum had always been fascinated by the first snow of the season, going to extreme lengths to make their home appear as festive as possible, even though none of them were particularly religious. Even less so now, huh? she thought bitterly, sighing as she gave up the fight and pushed her damp rag away. She glanced at the dark bottle sitting next to it, its contents already suspiciously low. She had been nursing on the liquor for the better part of several minutes, feeling the numbing tingle permeate her nervous system, dulling everything it touched except for her hyperactive brain. It had been awhile since she'd had this much to drink, let alone by herself. But there was no faceless lover to keep her company tonight. Only the thundering pulse of blood in her ears broke the silence, the promise of a miserable morning to come. She didn't care. A hangover would be a welcome distraction from the void opening up in her chest, expanding until it threatened to consume her.
Her phone didn't ring on Christmas, and there were no outbound calls in her history. Her mother's fantasy of an idyllic family Christmas went to the grave with her. From the moment the family matriach took ill, Raelle had railed against her father, slinging every horrible insult at him for refusing to get her mother the help she so desperately needed from the people who actually knew how to help. She had spent many nights crying into her pillow, listening helplessly while her parents bickered nearby, her mother's protests growing gradually weaker with each passing day.
"Why?" she asked the empty pub before taking another hefty swig at her bottle. Taking the time to prepare a glass was pointless and would just be another dish to wash. The bourbon was harsh on her throat, as it had been all night and the night before, causing her to cough and splutter. She prided herself on her ability to handle her booze, but the holidays battered away at that resolve, chipping away at her outer strength to the fragile soul beneath, poisoning it with anger and hatred. It was that same poison that led her to striking up a deal with a member of the Englightened at this very pub, joining its fold and launching herself to the forefront of a new wizarding war. Her mother would be so proud.
Raelle downed the remainder of the bottle and stared at its embellished logo. It was some cheap brand they dolled up to sell at a higher price. It all tasted the same after awhile. "Why?" she repeated. "Why did you have to leave me?" In the years since her mother's passing, she hadn't really opened up about the experience. She had tried therapy for a minute, but it was definitely not for her. Sitting in a sterile white room with some old dude in a tweed blazer and a notepad didn't exactly make her want to pour her heart out.
Stepping forward, the young woman stumbled slightly, the alcohol snaking its way into her senses and holding her in its hypnotic trance. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!" she screamed, tears streaming down her face as she hurled the bottle at the far wall of the pub. It shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces, much like Raelle's heart had all those years ago. She glared at the wet stain, channeling all of her rage into that tiny blemish, a tornado of emotion rising in her, a dam threatening to burst.
In the end, she just heaved a ragged sigh that ended as a sob. Covering her face with her arm to hide the tears from no one, she stumbled backwards until she was being supported by another stone wall. She sank down to the ground, racked with violent sobs as she curled in on herself. She sat there, alternating between screams of anguish and tiny, rasping hiccups. The thought of bashing her head against the wall crossed her mind, but the hangover she would have in the morning would get the same effect. Her mind was filled with memories of her mother, the floodgates opening to drown her in the past. Her mother had been beautiful and kind, even as the cancer stole her features away along with her life. Heaving a final sob, Raelle was still, her eyes half-lidded and swollen with tears. Her vision was beginning to blur, sleep creeping in to ease her suffering. "I miss you so much," she whispered as her eyes closed.
time to pray down on your knees
you can't hide from me
muse-ic inspo
all up in my feels
all up in my feels